Time makes people sad. The slow and steady dissolve of people, places and things. Your life is divided into chapters whether you like it or not. You can’t turn the page back and you can’t rewrite anything. Do you want to go back to a time when you walked home from your night class at ten p.m. and came home to a house full of your roommates playing some drinking game? You hated it then but you hated it more when everyone moved out and there was nothing left to come home to but static on the television. Do you want to crawl back into that boy’s bed who lived in the Lower East Side? You spent four months of your life sleeping in late, spooning, and doing drugs on a coffee table and it was so…romantic. And then time stopped it, stopped all of it. New chapter. Turn the fucking page please.
Whenever your parents say they’re disappointed in you, you can’t help but get sad. They’re awful, the absolute worst, but they can’t think you’re the absolute worst. Wait, Mom. Wait, Dad. I’m not turning into an awful person. I’m still good. I’m not rotten. Please think of me as that five year old who would give you kisses in public. I can still be that child for you! Wait, you’re over it? Cool, don’t talk to me.
Getting rejected makes people sad. We want to be validated, we want to be viewed as attractive so we give complete power to some nobody in a bar. “Here’s my self-esteem! Do what you want with it, I guess. Just please don’t shatter it! Oh, you just shattered it. Darn!” It’s not fair that someone we don’t even know has the power to make us feel like crap. The only people who are allowed to do that are best friends, significant others, and intermediate family members.
Listening to certain songs makes us sad. And when we’re depressed, we put on a playlist that’s titled “Kill me!” so we can feel more depressed? Funny system we got going there. We listen to songs that remind us of certain people and maybe we cry. A song by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers could be really uplifting and fun, but it reminds of a fun and uplifting day we can never get back again. So there we are. Crying to rock and roll. Music is so damn powerful.
Getting flaked on by your friends is so sad. You have this excitement building about your fun-filled social day and then it gets ripped away from you by a single text that says, “I’m sorry. Don’t h8 me. Gonna have to reschedule!” And as you’re choking back tears you write back, “No prob babe!”
Drinking makes some people sad. They have a bad day so they drink to feel better. Smash cut: All of their horrible feelings being amplified times ten and causing them to cry into their drink. Oh my god, you’ve become a cliche sad drunk. Oh my god, you’re an adult?
Writing a piece about what makes people sad can make you feel sad. So don’t do it.
image – Ron Bennetts
en español¿Por qué estoy tan triste?
Feeling down? Got the blues? You're not alone. Everyone feels sad at times. Sad feelings can be mild or strong or in between. How sad you feel can depend on the situation that's causing the sadness and how you're coping with it.
Sadness is a natural human emotion. Like other emotions, sad feelings come and go. Some sad feelings last only a moment, some last longer. When sad feelings ease away, a happier mood can take their place.
Are Sad Feelings Normal?
It's perfectly OK to have sad feelings at times. As long as they don't happen too often or last too long, sad feelings — like all emotions — are just a natural part of life.
But it doesn't feel good to stay sad. It feels much better to be happy. So here are some things every kid should know:
- You can cope with sad things that happen.
- You can do things to ease a sad mood and feel happier.
How Can You Deal With Sad Feelings?
Sad feelings don't have to take over your mood or ruin your day. You can do things to help yourself feel better. You can do things to prevent sad feelings from sticking around too long or becoming too strong.
Here are some positive ways to deal with sad feelings:
Notice how you feel and why. Knowing your emotions helps you understand and accept yourself. If you feel sad, notice it — but don't dwell on it too long or give it too much drama. Just tell yourself (or someone else) that you feel sad. Try to figure out why you feel that way. Show yourself a little understanding — there's probably a good reason you feel the way you do. It's OK. Remind yourself that sadness will pass and you'll feel better.
Bounce back from disappointments or failures. When things don't go your way, don't give up! Stay in the game. There's always next time. Give yourself credit for trying. Then focus on what you need to work on and try again. Keep a positive attitude.
Think positive. Even if you're sad, think of one or two good things about yourself or your situation. Believe in yourself. Think about what you can do and how things can get better. If you didn't get something you wanted, think of something else that can make you happy. There's always something good — look for it!
Think of solutions. Coming up with ways to solve a problem or cope with a situation can help you feel strong, confident, and good about yourself. It's hard to stay sad when you're feeling so capable!
Get support. Even the most capable kids need support. The people in your life who believe in you and care (like parents, friends, and teachers) can comfort you when you feel sad. Sometimes, just listening and understanding what you're going through is enough. Sometimes they can help you work out a problem or help you think of happier things to get your mind off sadness or disappointment.
Put yourself in a good mood. Shake off a sad mood by doing things that put you in a more positive mood. Play a game or sport, ride a bike, dance or run, take a walk, make art or music, read, or spend time with someone you like. Relax, have some fun, and feel better.
Learning to deal with sad feelings takes practice. But when you do things to take care of sadness, you make room for more positive feelings. That means a happier you!